The choice of words when you are talking to your children is undoubtedly more important than you think, and it can be difficult when you are under stress or anger to keep a positive attitude while talking to your child or disciplining him. However, what you say and how you say it matters, according to parenting expert and author Erica Katz.
“As parents, we get angry and frustrated, especially if we have multiple children and there are so many issues that require behavior change,” Katz said.
She added that treating them with empathy and kindness can help reduce anxiety, loss of self-confidence and low self-esteem as they get older. Which is consistent with recent research. Positive parenting can boost a child’s mental health, lead to academic success, and improve wellbeing in adolescence and adulthood, according to University of California findings, according to what she mentioned to CNBC and Al Arabiya.net reviewed. .
Meanwhile, research shows that when children feel a lack of parental pride, it can undermine their confidence and motivation. Children need confidence and motivation to succeed in the long term, as these qualities help them to better cope with life’s obstacles and show resilience to bounce back from failure.
4 phrases you can use with your kids
It’s best to use a reassuring and empathetic approach when interacting with a child, Katz says.
For example, if they start writing their homework but don’t finish it: you might say, “You did a great job. What if I finish it?
And when they show aggressive behavior: This sentence can calm them down: “I know you’re upset, but you can’t ‘hit, bite, kick, etc.’.”
And if they find it difficult to complete their homework: “You have successfully completed the other assignment, and I am sure that you will cope with the next assignment.”
And when you don’t handle their feelings carefully, “I’m sorry. Tell them you didn’t show them the sympathy they deserved.”
Katz explains that starting with the positive things they have achieved before discussing the negative ones is the most effective approach, especially when it comes to correcting your child’s behavior.
“Find something good (they did) before moving on to something that can be improved,” Katz said.
She also recommends using the word “we” instead of “you” in parenting, which indicates a less accusatory and selfish tone: choose phrases like “We don’t hit, we don’t steal.” “That’s not who we are.”
Perhaps most importantly, parents should apologize to their children when they do something wrong. Some adults feel that telling a child “I’m sorry” would be disrespectful or a sign of weakness. It actually shows vulnerability and lets them know that even adults make mistakes.
“As a parent, you have an obligation to control your emotions towards your children,” she added. “You have to admit your mistake and apologize. It’s not always easy, but it’s part of your job as a guardian.”
